I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
