So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
