she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
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Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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