Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
