Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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