Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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