i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
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yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
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I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.