Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
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Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
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Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas