I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
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We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
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I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"