glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.