yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain