the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
