I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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