im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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