quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
