First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
