I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
