That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
