I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
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I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
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I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
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