You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
