also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
