Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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