Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
