I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
