Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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