Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
