I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She told me I should be a condom model.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
