This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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