if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize
