thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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