i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
