question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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