Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
