I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
