you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
