I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize