i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
