I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
