I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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