It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
