Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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