it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize