I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize