we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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