Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
