If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
