So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage