Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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