So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
We need to rekindle our bromance
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
