What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
