I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
