it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
