i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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