I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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