The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
