he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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