u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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