u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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