omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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