I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize