pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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